i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
