Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
they're like a gay fantastic four
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
