Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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