can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
