i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
