i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
