I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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