I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
