question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
