I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Im just a social blackout drinker.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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