I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
