Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
