I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Randomize
