I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
