Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
