Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
