at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
