In the future we'll all be gay
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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