I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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