If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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