I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
They have beer where we have blood.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
