Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
