you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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