I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
