I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
