how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
