I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
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