Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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