i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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