yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Randomize
