he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
