make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
