we have pet lesbian snakes
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
