Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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