8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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