I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
What drink are we having for lunch?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
