I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Girls should come with a carfax report
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Randomize
