well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
