Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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