I am in a vortex of obligation.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
