Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Randomize
