i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
