I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
