Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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