We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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