I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
