wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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