porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
