omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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