there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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