I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
He did a backflip because drugs
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