oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize