You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
how does that bad decision feel?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
