You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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