Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
