like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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